If headlines could tell a whole story, articles would not exist, and every newspaper would just be a single page of tweets.
That is why it is so important to actually read articles instead of commenting based on headlines and sounding like a clown.
Brandi Glanville is learning that lesson the hard way, unfortunately.
Her half-joking thirst tweets about Armie Hammer’s scandal turned out to be way more tone deaf than she could have imagined.
The first news that broke about Armie Hammer last month came in the form of alleged DMs that leaked.
In them, it appeared that Armie expressed “cannibalism” fetish fantasies alongside some (quite frankly) mostly mild BDSM roleplay in the text messages.
At first, it was unclear whether this was a gross breach of Armie’s privacy or the start of another heartbreaking #MeToo story.
What followed, however, was horror stories from women describing emotional abuse, toxic controlling behavior, and a whole world of weirdness.
BDSM relationships are not inherently abusive by any means, but they must be three things: safe, sane, and consensual.
By the horrifying descriptions of Armie’s behavior, he allegedly crossed a lot of lines and left women traumatized.
But clearly, Brandi saw the initial headlines and didn’t bother to look into it any further.
As a result, she just thought “wow, this notoriously hot actor has a kink!” and decided to post a thirst-tweet.
This was the result:
“Dear Armie Hammer, you can have my ribcage,” Brandi tweeted on February 8. “How do you just keep getting hotter and hotter? #letsbbq”
(Apologies for the light mode screenshot; Brandi has since deleted this and the next tweet, and she was wise to do so)
She was far from the only one to tweet like this — to many, the sensationalist “cannibalism” headline just led to thirst posts about, well, wanting Armie to eat them.
But Brandi’s thirst tweet was weeks after most, because all of the subsequent news about Armie has been less salacious and more upsetting.
We get it — Brandi’s a busy woman and she’s also a mom, so maybe she doesn’t stare at her screens for news as much as we do.
Fans flooded her comments with replies urging her to take back the tweet, but she didn’t quite get the message.
“I’m not sorry, I don’t take it back, it was a f–king joke,” Brandi went on to write in yet another now-deleted tweet.
“Clearly, I need my rib cage,” she acknowledged, before joking: “But maybe he can have one of my kidneys.”
To her critics, whom she assumed were shaming her for joking about the cannibalism kink, Brandi wrote: “Get some hobbies.”
Obviously, someone finally got through to Brandi and explained to her that this isn’t about cannibalism.
Armie is under fire for allegedly traumatizing women in a number of toxic affairs — that he was married at the time of them is a footnote.
If Brandi had read past weeks-old headlines and seen what these women are actually describing about the actor, she would have known.
“Guys I DID NOT KNOW the extent of whats being alleged against AH,” Brandi has now tweeted.
“I just read he was getting divorced and thought he was hot,” she explained.
“No more headline porn for me!” Brandi vowed. “I have learned my lesson.”
It’s a good lesson to us all — read the articles, not just the headlines.
That said, given the main storyline of the latest season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, shouldn’t Brandi of all people know how news works? Especially when it’s about DMs?
We’re glad that she now understands that, like all #MeToo stories, Armie’s scandal — which he denies — is no laughing matter.
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