Seth Meyers Does His Best Tucker Carlson Impersonation

Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.

Breaking Conspiracy Theories

Seth Meyers pointed to some of Fox News’ latest contradictions on Monday night, citing a recent poll finding a majority of viewers are in support of Covid precautions that differ greatly from the network’s Covid-19 talking points.

“One way you can tell that the Republican Party is intellectually bankrupt is that they spend very little time talking about policy and a lot more time talking about bat [expletive] conspiracy theories they concocted out of nowhere,” Meyers said on Monday.

“It’s so hard to keep up with the right-wing rumor mill that sometimes I’ll only find out about one after it’s been debunked. Yesterday I was scrolling through Twitter and saw a Snopes headline that said, ‘No, Joe Biden is not a Westworld Robot Created by George Soros to Steal Your Hamburgers,’ and I thought, ‘Oh, right, I forgot to tape “Judge Jeanine” last night.’” — SETH MEYERS

“So, the left is focused on trying to pass a far-reaching bill that would transform child care, expand the social safety net and tackle climate change, among other things, and what’s the MAGA crowd doing? Are they offering any alternative solutions? Or are they asking Eric Trump about Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend’s swollen balls?” — SETH MEYERS

The “Late Night” host pointed to Tucker Carlson’s alarmist delivery and did an inspired impersonation.

“I will say this, though: If cable news ever gets boring for Tucker, he’d make a hell of an improviser because my man knows how to heighten. [Imitating Carlson] If they can force you take a vaccine, what can’t they force you to do? Can they force you to take psychotropic meds? Make you wear a seatbelt? Make you put your shoes on at Olive Garden even though they tell you, ‘When you’re here, you’re family?’ And then when you try to fill a briefcase with unlimited breadsticks, can they call security?” — SETH MEYERS

The Punchiest Punchlines (Half a Shot Edition)

“Big news today, as Pfizer announced that a low dose of its vaccine is safe and effective for kids ages 5 to 11. It’s great news until you hear a 6-year-old say, ‘I want to do my own research first.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“Meanwhile, 4-year-olds are like, ‘Yeah, don’t mind us; we’ll just keep Clorox-wiping our Legos, OK?’” — JIMMY FALLON

“According to a Pfizer board member, a vaccine for children could be available by the end of October. Well, I know what I’ll be handing out for Halloween — a fun-sized Pfizer.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Yeah, it’s a version of the Pfizer vaccine that’s much, much weaker, so they’re calling it Johnson & Johnson.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Of course, a lot of kids will get the vaccine while a small minority will insist on taking pony dewormer, because they’re children.” — JIMMY FALLON

The Bits Worth Watching

Trevor Noah announced the nominations for this year’s Pandemmy Awards on “The Daily Show.”

What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night

Bob Woodward and Robert Costa will pop by Tuesday’s “Late Show” to talk about their new book, “Peril.”

Also, Check This Out

“The Crown” swept this year’s Emmys, winning several awards, including Best Drama.

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