DEAR DEIDRE: I’M heartbroken that my children decided to cut me out of their lives.
All I’ve ever tried to do is be there for them, but they’ve thrown my love back in my face.
I’m 54 and have two sons.
The youngest, 21, has had drug problems for some time.
The last time I saw him, about six months ago, I was worried about his health and his safety, so I confronted him about the drugs.
We had an enormous argument.
He got so angry that he stormed out and sent me a barrage of abusive text messages, telling me what a terrible mother I am and how his drug taking was all my fault.
The next thing I knew, my elder son, 23, who has issues with gambling and alcohol, had sided with his brother and told me he no longer wanted me in his life either.
I have no idea what lies my younger son told him.
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We’ve had no contact for months. I am bereft.
I don’t deserve this treatment.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds like both your sons are in denial about their addiction problems.
It’s easier to lash out and blame you.
Sadly, people can’t be helped until they want to change.
Perhaps a softer approach might work. Ask how you can try to repair your relationship.
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If there’s another relative who they still talk to, you could ask them to mediate.
An organisation called Stand Alone (standalone.org.uk) can help you. They support adults estranged from family members.
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