DEAR DEIDRE: MY brother only visited our mum in hospital twice in six weeks, even though he lives only half an hour from where she had been admitted.
She is home now but things are no better. I know that, if it was my brother’s mother-in-law who was ill, they would have been there all the time.
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Mum is 89 and I am her live-in carer. I’m a woman of 64 and I’m widowed. My brother is 61 with a grown-up son and daughter.
When I asked why they didn’t visit Mum the answer was always the same – they were too busy.
Now they just blame coronavirus.
Mum has been a wonderful mother to us and a lovely grandmother to my brother’s children.
Why don’t they have time for her? It breaks my heart when she asks, “Why don’t they at least phone me?”
DEIDRE SAYS: Tell your brother how often his mum asks about seeing him and insist on fixing a specific time for a regular call.
Lots of men struggle with initiating family contact and his wife may feel it’s not up to her as it’s his mother.
I’m sure you could do with a break, so once there is less need to shield your mum, you could organise it so that he comes round for an agreed afternoon or evening every fortnight.
Check out the local support available to you and your mum through Age UK (ageuk.org.uk, 0800 678 1602)
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