My dad has been absent since I was 12 but now I long for a father figure – The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: EVER since I was 12, my dad has been absent from my life. I’m a happily married man now but I long for a father figure.

I am 34 and have not seen my dad in four years, even though he lives only five miles away.

We were close before he split up with Mum and I remember crying myself to sleep each night after he left.

The reasons we are not close now are too complicated and hurtful to go into.

I have a great relationship with my mum, but she now lives abroad.

I would love to have someone to spend quality time with in a friendly and supportive relationship. But I don’t know where to find such a figure.

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DEIDRE SAYS: You are still grieving over the loss of your dad and that is what you need to address.

A replacement father-figure can’t in itself heal your emotional scars.

It is never too late to reach out as an adult and offer an olive branch to your dad. Hear his point of view.

You may not feel his behaviour was justified but you may understand him better and find the wound less painful.

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