My parents are putting pressure on my wife and I to produce grandchildren for them

Dear Deidre: MY parents are putting quite a lot of pressure on my wife and I to produce grandchildren for them. 

Every time we see them or talk on the phone, they mention friends who are enjoying being grandparents and say they can’t wait. Or they bluntly announce they don’t understand why we’re keeping them waiting.

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We have been married for two years. I’m 29 and my wife is 27. We want children and have been trying since we got married but my wife has endometriosis and we haven’t been successful yet. 

We have an appointment soon with a fertility expert to see if we need help.

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My wife doesn’t want my parents to know as she wants to deal with our fertility issues privately.

But I wonder if telling them would mean they would be more understanding and put less pressure on us.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Your parents are well-meaning but their comments could be adding to your stress, which in turn won’t help any fertility challenges that you have.

If your wife wants your medical diagnosis to remain private it would be best to respect her wishes.

Acknowledge you can see they are very excited about the idea of being grandparents and ask them to be patient.

I’m sending you my support pack on fertility issues which explains where you can get support.

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