I know we’re all going through a lot right now, but the time has come to check in on America’s (other) national nightmare: The Masked Singer. It seems like just yesterday that the Egg and the Banana landed on the hellscape known as planet Earth, and yet somehow, we have already endured three entire seasons of the show and are currently being subjected to a fourth. Yep, ever since season 4 premiered on September 23, our eyeballs have been exposed to both: (a) a whole new batch of “celebrity” contestants who need to fire their PR people and (b) a whole new batch of foods/animals that’ll be forever ruined. I mean, is there nothing better to do than watch mediocre singing and cringe-inducing dance moves for months on end, MY GOODNESS?!
Might I add, I will never eat a taco again thanks to THIS clearly evil criminal mastermind:
Because it’s best to keep our friends close and our enemies closer, here’s everything you need to know to stay up to date on The Masked Singer season 4, including every celebrity reveal each week. Help. Us. All.
Ugh, there’s really no way around this. Here are the creations “gracing” our
nightmares television screens this season and a tracker of who has been eliminated so far:
WEEK FIVE: THE LIPS
The Person Behind the Mask: Wendy Williams
In the words of Wendy herself “I can’t sing, I can’t dance, but I know how to have fun.” Bless!
WEEK FOUR: BABY ALIEN
The Person Behind the Mask: Mark Sanchez
My prayers have been answered: Baby Alien is no longer lurking on The Masked Singer. This news is a true gift to a troubled society, but a slight bummer for the celeb who ended up being behind the mask, the one and only Mark Sanchez!
WEEK THREE: THE GIRAFFE
The Person Behind the Mask: Brian Austin Green
I am…not okay. And by the looks of Brian Austin Green’s face emerging from that Giraffe head, neither is he.
WEEK TWO: THE GREMLIN
The Person Behind the Mask: Mickey Rourke
Well, guys, it finally happened: A celeb was so horrified by his own participation on this show that he didn’t even wait to get voted off and instead opted to chop his own masked head off. Nothing but respect.
WEEK ONE: THE DRAGON
The Person Behind the Mask: Busta Rhymes
Wait, okay, did The Masked Singer actually come through with its promise to feature way bigger names this season? I’m both impressed and bummed to see Busta get unmasked so soon but happy he’s no longer stuck inside a giant dragon costume!
Truly no food is safe from this show. Here are the most popular theories on the Popcorn’s true identity.
Be honest, anything after the Area 51 monstrosity above is an improvement.
Look who’s here to bring Slytherin to victory. (Sorry, sorry, I’ll stop now.)
Here to stalk the competition, obviously.
The girl from The Ring growing up and joining a reality TV singing competition still isn’t the weirdest part of 2020.
THE SNOW OWLS
How cool would it be if the show cast celebrity siblings or twins for this one?
If Elton John and my KFC crocs had a baby, it’d be this guy.
Petition for the Jellyfish to sing this Destiny Child’s “Bootylicious” lyric: “I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly.” Otherwise, what is this whole competition even for??
Still not convinced this isn’t a Pokémon.
The Moon was busy, so they’ll have to do.
THE SQUIGGLY MONSTER
Because what this show really needed was more creatures with “monster” in their names.
Viewers Have a Say on Who Stays and Who Goes
Yup! We’ve got the power this season. For the first time in Masked Singer history, viewers have the ability to vote on their fave performances. Each week, a certain group of viewers, aka Super Fans, are chosen to be part of a virtual audience that allows them to watch each performer from home and vote on who they’d like to move forward.
The Judges and Host Are the Same
In case ya somehow didn’t already notice this: No one was replaced for season 4. Nick Cannon is still the host, and Nicole Scherzinger, Ken Jeong, Robin Thicke, and Jenny McCarthy are the panelists once again. This works out because who likes change anyway??
Reminder: Here’s How the Show Works
If you’ve never seen The Masked Singer, RUN AND HIDE, IT’S NOT TOO LATE. But also, here’s how the show works: Each week, a fleet of people who identify as “celebs” perform onstage whilst wearing costumes that are almost certainly cursed. They’re then voted off one at a time until there’s just one last mask standing.
T-Pain won season 1, Wayne Brady’s head popped out of a stuffed fox in season 2, Kandi Burruss took home the season 3 crown, and, honestly, who knows what might happen when season 4 eventually wraps, but it’s sure to be terrifying.
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