{"id":439364,"date":"2023-10-23T12:55:00","date_gmt":"2023-10-23T12:55:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/totalcelnews.com\/?p=439364"},"modified":"2023-10-23T12:55:00","modified_gmt":"2023-10-23T12:55:00","slug":"bbc-eastenders-natalie-cassidys-enduring-guilt-over-mums-tragic-death-she-thought-i-didnt-care","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totalcelnews.com\/tv-movies\/bbc-eastenders-natalie-cassidys-enduring-guilt-over-mums-tragic-death-she-thought-i-didnt-care\/","title":{"rendered":"BBC EastEnders Natalie Cassidys enduring guilt over mums tragic death: She thought I didnt care"},"content":{"rendered":"

EastEnders actress Natalie Cassidy has opened up about the tragic loss of her beloved mum Evelyn, admitting she's always felt "very guilty".<\/p>\n

Evelyn died in 2002 aged 63, when Natalie was just 19. "That was an age where you don\u2019t want to be at home and you don\u2019t want to be with your parents,\u201d Natalie, 40, told OK! <\/b>during our exclusive shoot and interview.<\/p>\n

\u201cI felt robbed of having the time where you come back in your 20s and you want to be with your mum.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve always felt very guilty that she left the world thinking that I didn\u2019t care. I know she knew that I did, because she\u2019d been a young girl herself and understood, but that was a hard thing to deal with. And that I still deal with to this day.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Natalie explained that following her death, she grew even closer to her dad Charles.<\/p>\n

She said: "The bond with my dad just thickened after. We\u2019d go on holiday together. He played golf so he\u2019d go and I\u2019d caddy for him. Over the years he was there through everything \u2013 my problems and my joyous events. In a way I suppose I made up for what happened with Mum, and then went over the top with Dad.\u201d<\/p>\n

And losing her own mother at a young age has shaped her as the parent she is today.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Natalie, who is mum to daughters Eliza, 13, and Joanie, seven, said: \u201cI hope I\u2019m lucky enough to be healthy and be around for a long time. I want to do all of those lovely mum things with the girls as they get older, like afternoon teas and spa days.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy favourite thing about being a mum is watching them having the same upbringing, but having totally different interests and personalities.\u201d<\/p>\n

In April 2021, Natalie sadly lost her dad. \u201cHe wasn\u2019t a really healthy man towards the end of his life. He had a lot of different medical issues,\u201d she explained. <\/p>\n

\u201cI just had this gut feeling that he didn\u2019t have long at all. And within a week he passed.\u201d<\/p>\n


\n<\/p>\n

She keeps his ashes on her windowsill in her lounge, alongside a picture of him and her mum.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know it might be a bit morbid for some people but he sits on the windowsill and I like to have a chat with him," she explained. <\/p>\n

She added: "It\u2019s just weird him not being here. I miss him terribly."<\/p>\n<\/p>\n