{"id":448785,"date":"2023-12-14T13:08:22","date_gmt":"2023-12-14T13:08:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/totalcelnews.com\/?p=448785"},"modified":"2023-12-14T13:08:22","modified_gmt":"2023-12-14T13:08:22","slug":"im-a-divorce-lawyer-and-heres-4-ways-to-handle-festive-infidelity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/totalcelnews.com\/lifestyle\/im-a-divorce-lawyer-and-heres-4-ways-to-handle-festive-infidelity\/","title":{"rendered":"I&apos;m a divorce lawyer and here&apos;s 4 ways to handle festive infidelity"},"content":{"rendered":"<h1> Has your partner kissed someone else at their\u00a0Christmas work party? I&#8217;m a divorce lawyer and here&#8217;s 4 ways to handle festive infidelity (and it doesn&#8217;t have to spell a split)<\/h1>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Celebrity divorce lawyer Ayesha Vardag shares her expert advice with FEMAIL<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>READ MORE:\u00a0I busted my boyfriend for cheating on me with his ex by listening to his Spotify Wrapped &#8211; six days after booking our wedding venue<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span>The annual office <\/span><span>Christmas<\/span><span> party is a notorious hotspot for infidelity. With the combination of a celebratory spirit, laid-back atmosphere and free flowing drinks, boundaries may blur.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>Social interactions at these events shift to a more casual and less guarded tone, leading to situations where individuals may be tempted to engage in behaviour they wouldn&#8217;t typically consider.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>Colleagues, who spend much of the year in a professional setting, find themselves in a more relaxed social sphere, creating opportunities for unexpected connections &#8211; and instances of infidelity.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>FEMAIL spoke to\u00a0Britain&#8217;s top divorce lawyer, Ayesha Vardag, who shared her expert advice on how to navigate if you&#8217;ve cheated &#8211; or been cheated on &#8211; at a festive work party.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>She highlighted the importance of maintaining clear communication and boundaries, even in seemingly jovial settings, to ensure that festive cheer does not lead to complications within relationships.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/i.dailymail.co.uk\/1s\/2023\/12\/14\/11\/78914529-12859553-Britain_s_top_divorce_lawyer_Ayesha_Vardag_shared_her_expert_adv-m-35_1702554813432.jpg\" height=\"474\" width=\"634\"><\/p>\n<p>Britain&#8217;s top divorce lawyer, Ayesha Vardag (pictured), shared her expert advice on how to navigate if you&#8217;ve cheated &#8211; or been cheated on &#8211; at a festive work party<\/p>\n<p><span>1. IF YOU&#8217;RE WORRIED THEY&#8217;LL CHEAT &#8211; TALK ABOUT IT<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&#8216;As the legend goes &#8211; it is not always the outcome you&#8217;re worried about happening that is the concern. It is the worry itself,&#8217; Ms Vargag explained.<\/p>\n<p>She continued: &#8216;Any anxiety surrounding yours, or your partner&#8217;s, fidelity may well signal issues in the relationship much greater than a mulled wine-fuelled mistake under the mistletoe.<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;As a divorce lawyer, I have seen my fair share of affair-driven divorces to know that worry really is the thief of joy.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;If your partner is giving you valid reasons to suspect they have, or might wish, to be unfaithful, it is no use filling your time concocting painful, imagined scenarios of this.<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;There is no comfort to be had in counting down the days until their Christmas socialising is over, and even less solace in over-analysing any suspicious signs once it&#8217;s over.<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;You cannot control your partner&#8217;s actions. It is an impossible feat made even more impossible when alcohol is involved, and decision-making capacities are impaired.\u00a0Communication, ideally before the event, is the only thing that&#8217;s really going to cut the mustard.<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;Perhaps, unbeknown to you, they share your fears &#8211; or maybe there&#8217;s a more important conversation to be had. Whatever it is, only talking will get you to the root of the issue &#8211; so get talking!&#8217;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/i.dailymail.co.uk\/1s\/2023\/12\/14\/12\/78914755-12859553-If_your_partner_has_cheated_it_s_important_to_step_back_and_refl-m-37_1702555234838.jpg\" height=\"595\" width=\"634\"><\/p>\n<p>If your partner has cheated, it&#8217;s important to step back and reflect on how you really feel, according to\u00a0Ms Vargag (stock photo)<\/p>\n<p><span>2. DECIDE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT CHEATING<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Ms Vargag said: &#8216;We are still conditioned into thinking affairs are utterly, and absolutely, morally reprehensible.<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;But we have the opportunity to throw away these anachronistic assumptions and decide our own feelings towards monogamy.<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;Polyamory isn&#8217;t everyone&#8217;s cup of tea &#8211; nor does it have to be &#8211; but that doesn&#8217;t mean it should inspire critique, judgement, disdain or divorce. If both parties are happy, it can give a marriage the shelf-life of an eternity.<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;As such, if you are worried about unfaithfulness this festive season, I urge you to take a step back and reflect on how you really feel.<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;Are you experiencing dread, jealousy or shame because the idea of an extra-marital, inter-office romance simply haunts you &#8211; or are you enabling yourself to subscribe to the idea that it is profoundly unacceptable?<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;The same goes for your opinion on affairs versus drunken, one-off mistakes. We all have different thresholds for pain, and, in the same measure, different thresholds for what we consider &#8216;cheating&#8217;.<\/p>\n<p><span>&#8216;You should know that your reaction to a drunken kiss or a full-bodied workplace affair is an entirely personal one. It can take seconds to judge someone for it &#8211; but, sometimes, a lifetime to forgive.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&#8216;That does not mean it has to precipitate a messy, chaotic upheaval of your marriage, children, home, financial and familial security, though.&#8217;<\/p>\n<p><span>3. FLIRTING WITH COLLEAGUES DOESN&#8217;T MEAN IT WILL RESULT IN AN AFFAIR<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/i.dailymail.co.uk\/1s\/2023\/12\/14\/12\/78914749-12859553-Ms_Vargag_said_we_must_remember_to_be_present_and_grateful_and_i-a-38_1702556555045.jpg\" height=\"423\" width=\"634\"><\/p>\n<p>Ms Vargag said: &#8216;Office romances are commonplace &#8211; and this fact is an unsurprising one&#8217; (stock photo)<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;The fact you are troubling yourself with the thought of you, or your spouse, cheating at the office party could simply be attributable to the drunken-kiss-with-a-colleague clich\u00e9 we have all heard about,&#8217;\u00a0Ms Vargag said.<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;An age-old movie trope &#8211; we love to hate the late Alan Rickman in Love Actually &#8211; it is not entirely unusual to feel wary of something so widely portrayed and &#8216;joked&#8217; about.<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;After all, being the betrayed &#8211; or the betrayer &#8211; is not an eventuality you would welcome fondly, and there aren&#8217;t many of us who can deny a drunken slip-up in our time.\u00a0It is also, unfortunately, a frailty of the human condition to feel jealous sometimes.<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;Workplaces are renowned for their innocent flirtation and playful jesting between breaks. After all, it is how we connect.<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;The friendships and partnerships we forge through these playful exchanges are &#8211; if kept professional and consensual &#8211; an essential lifeline when it comes to teamwork and collaboration. It allows us to be open, vulnerable and approachable &#8211; so that we can help others and ask for help in return.<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;The Christmas office party may well provide an outlet for such excitable bantering to continue into the early hours, but that is generally where it stops. Flirtation, after all, needn&#8217;t be amorous or &#8220;followed through&#8221;.&#8217;<\/p>\n<p><span>4. ACCEPT THAT OFFICE ROMANCES ARE A UNAVOIDABLE PART OF LIFE<\/span><\/p>\n<p>The divorce lawyer said: &#8216;Office romances are commonplace &#8211; and this fact is an unsurprising one.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;Most of us spend a significant portion of our adult lives in the workplace. This equates to a large proportion of our time spent with our colleagues and away from our spouses.<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;We share common ground with our colleagues that our other halves will never be able to understand or connect with.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;Work &#8211; nor life &#8211; promises excitement in every passing second; it is up to us to source it where we can,&#8217;\u00a0Ms Vargag explained.<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;Work and professionalism ought always to come first &#8211; after all, it is the workplace &#8211; but that should not preclude us from enjoying the company of those who work alongside us.&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>Source: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.dailymail.co.uk\/femail\/article-12859553\/britains-divorce-lawyer-reveals-5-ways-handle-christmas-infidelity.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Read Full Article<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Has your partner kissed someone else at their\u00a0Christmas work party? I&#8217;m a divorce lawyer and<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":448784,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>I&amp;apos;m a divorce lawyer and here&amp;apos;s 4 ways to handle festive infidelity - Totalcelnews.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/totalcelnews.com\/lifestyle\/im-a-divorce-lawyer-and-heres-4-ways-to-handle-festive-infidelity\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I&amp;apos;m a divorce lawyer and here&amp;apos;s 4 ways to handle festive infidelity - Totalcelnews.com\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Has your partner kissed someone else at their\u00a0Christmas work party? 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