I'm worried my family's secret mental health issues have passed down to my son | The Sun
DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE been living with a lie. I never told my kids that their grandad took his own life when I was young.
Now my son has mental health issues, I’m terrified.
I’m a married woman of 45 and my husband knows the deepest secret about my father, but I was never allowed to mention it at home.
My family talks about my dad’s “heart condition” if asked, and then changes the subject.
I discovered the truth when I was looking for my passport at 15 and stumbled upon my father’s death certificate.
My son is 26 and he’s had depression and anxiety. He’s not been well since he was 17, but things have got progressively worse.
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He’s now in therapy and came home last night asking whether there was any family history of mental illness.
I didn’t know what to say. My sister, who is 50, suffered from depression when she was in her 20s.
I had post-natal depression, but my son doesn’t know. If I tell him the truth, I’ll feel so guilty. I already feel so ashamed of my family history.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It’s time to be honest about your family’s mental health issues. This history is nothing to be ashamed of.
Talking about it and feeling confident about getting help is the way forward and helps prevent suicide.
By covering up and denying there is an issue, your son will only feel more isolated and ashamed.
If you are worried about other family members feeling sensitive, it is OK to make him aware they may not be ready to talk openly.
Depression isn’t always genetic but, if he knows that others close to him have endured similar battles, it will help him feel less alone.
He’ll get some expert advice from the counsellors at Mind, the mental health charity (mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393).
My support packs on Depression and Anxiety are packed with advice to help him.
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